Belziat & the 3 Saints

ALE Gains a New Member

"I may be a pacifist, but I'll still wreck you motherfucker"

The party waits for Greg, who is decidedly useless. However, they decide that until Foostus gets crit, the encounters wont even start. So we start anyway.


Coming off of the rush of rescuing kittens we rejoin the party being greeted by the sage. He reveals that the log is an item of interest to some burglars. As such, he lends the party the assistance of his apprentice, Erza.

The party progresses up the lift, and is greeted by two men with white hair and blood red eyes. Upon realizing the party is nearby, one man sprouts wings and takes to the air, while the other brandishes a draconic arm. Jamison questions whether or not a diplomacy check would be of use.

Aravir scrambles out and crits the hovering one quickly. While Alvin marks him as a target. Foostus rushes out with a goring charge and knocks him to the ground. Seight ambles out and bellows dragon-breath followed by a bull-charge to add insult to injury. Greg stumbles out but doesn’t have the range to make any attacks. Jamison charges out towards the unhindered foe, but is caught off guard by a swipe, as the man’s arm extends throwing off his attack.

He responds with a double claw attack at Seight, leaving him slowed, rom poison. He also follows through with a critical swipe at Jamison.

Our winged foe, leaps to the air, and unfurls a gust of fire towards our heros knocking them on their respective asses and whips a fireball right into Greg’s face. Aravir tries to capitalize, but ends up firing an arrow straight into the air like a town drunk after double crit failing, (effectively pulling a Foostus). Belial double-augment force hammers both of them, knocking them prone.

Erza in his prime-time debut, makes some nightmares erupt, its pretty hot. Aravir, sure-shots one , who has a brief panic-attack and almost goes bat-shit insane. After being calmed by his ally, he regains control. Alvin marks him and Foostus rushes in, getting critically struck on his charge in. The encounter starts.

Foostus pukes and Seight gives everyone eleven temp hit-points out of the goodness of his dragon-heart. Jamison ambles around and grabs our winged foe. Shortly after, Jamison has the venom ripped from his veins and all around feels like shit, forcing him to spend a turn sulking.

After Jamisons grip is effectively rendered useless, our winged enemy soars about twenty feet into the air, followed by the summoning of a wall of fire. Belial misses and Erza sends some Astral Wasps to do his bidding, and nonchalantly summons an abyssal maw.

Aravir shoots our friend up on the ceiling, Foostus Smacks a bitch with the keyword “titties” Seight calls a bitch out and forces him to eat some khopesh. Greg “isn’t such an asshole anymore” and Jamison stops spazzing out. Our winged friend flips the fuck out and throws fireballs at everybody save for Aravir, and Alvin who nimbly dodges it, Erza’s Abyssal Maw takes a bite and Aravir knocks the winged enemy out of the air.

Foostus waddles through the fire like a man and smacks the newly-prone winged-foe. Maw makes a good-effort but doesn’t quite connect. Greg throws out a heal and misses a seal. Jamison grappling strikes and pins him to the ground.

Across the room Seight is grabbed and pile-driven in front of a terrified Aravir. Elsewhere, Jamison’s grip is broken by flailing wings and Foostus strikes at him as he fly away, Erza summons a fire-warrior and Aravir slays the airborne enemy. Alvin lodges an arrow right into the final enemy that leaves him hurting. Foostus mills around the wall of fire and charges in and dodges a swipe while puking on the way in.

The remaining enemy leaps across the room transforms fully into a demon, and mourns the loss of his friend Burgess, and whirls around striking everyone nearby. He then remembers that Aravir was the tool of his buddies demise, latches claws into him, and whips him straight into Greg, nearly killing greg. The Maw seeks revenge, and finds purchase in its endeavor. The Fire-Warrior also connects an attack. Aravir stumbles away and trades missed attacks with the monster. Alvin puts another arrow into the monster, giving everyone a plus ten to damage. Foostus pulls on his action pants and smacks the monster.

Greg heals himself and Jamison and the monster throws another shit-storm. effectively negating Greg’s healing on himself. Belial connects with psionic force and Erza finds his beloved Maw immobilized. Aravir looses two arrows into him, and Alvin save Greg from the inevitable “butt-raping”. Foostus delivers the killing blow.


We find that our foes were named Armand and Burgess, they both carried black identification cards, as well as both having a symbol on their armor that nobody can identify with any checks. The bodies are found to be human, but have demonic and draconic influences. The party packs up and heads back to the capital. Erza is forced through the trials much to everyones amusement, and passes it without worry, much to everyones chagrin.

The next day, Greg bluffs Seight, whom turns on Jamison after a ghost sound compliments of Erza. Jamison comes clean and is challenged to a drinking contest by Seight.


Mora and Weber set up drinks and the contest between Jamison, Weber and Seight begins, after five flagons everyone looks pretty good and a few more people join in as Weber falls over. Erzas unseen servants try to bring him more ale but his immense inebriation cant make any use of it, as he drops out.

After a special mug from Marshall 1st place goes to Seight, 2nd to Jamison, and 3rd to Grimm. Seight tries to scalp Jamison or something but his drunken slurring confuses Erza’s unseen servants, resulting in them bringing him a bowl as opposed to a knife, he proceeds to break on the floor. After this those three are forced to retire out of drunkenness.


The remaining group tries recon to find out more about the meeting. Foostus crits on a streetwise check to find out there is a bar in the noble district where a few guards are known to frequent. They proceed to the bar and wait for someone to come in, Greg goes to the bathroom…fucking Greg. Alvin gets kicked out, by the bartender who is apparently not fond of gnomes, and chooses to go out and hangout with camel. Foostus chills at the bar all day and fails to actually say anything to the bar babe he’s checking out for 4 hours. Alvin notices some palace guards come in and they all sit inside and try and meld with the wenches. Aravir talks to one wench and bribes her to find out information from the guards. They find out her name is Lucy and she is a fat beast. She comes back saying the guards are pigs and they bribe her more to convince the guards to head upstairs into a trap set for them to ambush. Aravir listens into the room as the man undresses and Lucy, the beast wench, knocks softly for them to ambush. Aravir bursts in and aims his bow straight at the guard’s nude packages and tells him “Not a Fucking word motherfucker”, but to no avail. Greg then comes in and says “I may be a pacifist but I’ll still wreck you motherfucker” with a crit intimidate check. He shits all over. Belial asks him about the exact time of the meeting and the patrols of the guards in the sector. He draws a map of the patrols and the meetingplace. They proceed to then surprise round the naked man in the room. Two arrows and two kinetic trawl and he is dismembered. They stuff his body parts in the dresser, take his armor and leave. Foostus gets his nut with the barmaid despite Greg trying to tell him the plan. They try and get another wench and while they argue the guard gets up and walks out. The group follows him out of the bar and attempts to ambush him in an alley. Foostus, after lasting 2 minutes, shows up downstairs and proceeds to drink more.


Out in the alley Belial kinetically shoves the drunken guard into a wall five times and Alvin forces him to submit, he intimidates information out of him in his drunken sobs and afterwards administers a drought of forgetfulness.


The next day, the group splits into two, One to infiltrate the caste walls with stealth, and the other to sneak in using stolen and re-forged guards armor, compliments of Mora.

The first team, in palace guard armor, makes their way in without much trouble, thanks to Glib Limerick, Greg talks their way in and they position themselves in prime position on their balcony,

Second team, clambers their way in, and sets their trap. Upon entering Aravir drops one immediately and Foostus rages out on some unlucky bastard. Erza taunts one onto a blast-patch, and Foostus cuts through one and steps through another. Jamison dodges a few attacks and jacks them in their jaws for missing. The party clears the rest of them out and moves on to their balcony.

Both teams are in position on the balconies and the meeting is set to start…


Bonus XP

Alvin – Getting booted out of the bar and snuggling with Telugatolos -50xp, Being 5 times as intimidating as you are tall -50xp. [100xp total]

Aravir – Good adventure log -125xp, Chatting up the wenches -75xp. [200xp total]

Belial – Asking all the right questions/being the brains in the interrogation -150xp, Yanking the guard into the alleyway and raping him -50xp. [200xp total]

Erza – Dealing with learning the character well -75xp, Destroying the trial of hidden knowledge -100xp, Being the catalyst of infighting/ a massive drinking contest -125xp. [300xp total]

Foostus – Puking everywhere -25xp, Being the awkward minotaur at the bar -50xp, Getting your nut, despite the others’ plan -75xp. [150xp total]

Greg – Coming clean (kinda) about what happened to Crazy Jim -50xp, Being a fucking intimidating pacifist -75xp, Bluffing your way through the defenses -75xp. [200xp total]

Jamison – Adventure Log assist -50xp, Coming clean about what happened to Crazy Jim -50xp. [100xp]

Seight – Valiantly defending the chicken -5xp, Challenging and beating Jamison at his own game -100xp, Getting up and wandering to find Vesayo -50xp. [155xp total]

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