Belziat & the 3 Saints

The Onslaught

Jamison just kinda wanders around town. Aravir descends gracefully from the roof, and sulks in the shadows like a little bitch (Fuck you greg). Aravir smells Jamison from around the corner, and they get together whilst still knowing nothing about the night before. Foostus keeps crying… Seight goes to the bar and sees some cloaked guys like the people he’s been dealing with. Jamison and Aravir head to the boat, with Aravir lagging behind the smelly bastard. They meet Mick down there. Mick eloquently insults how bad Jamison smells. Aravir tells Mick some bad jokes while Jamison goes to talk with/collect Erza. Seight sits down at a table in the bar, and sees that the cloaked person is someone who hasn’t been seen before. Foostus sits at the bar drinking. Jamison and gang come into the bar, and Greg tells Jamison not to act like he knows the four of us. Jamison fucks up telling everyone to act like they don’t know us. Then Greg explains last night to Jamison. The guy comes in to talk to Seight. They talk about some boring shit (Hey, fuck you Greg). Something, something initiative, or bloody-crown hunters (These men are Initiates in an order known as the Blood Crowned Hunters, or Crown Hunters for short). They enforce an organization or something (They are the enforcers for The Organization, and as such are the ones who defend villages against the Onslaught). Greg tells the guy he thinks their organization sucks. Seight makes up a story about how the other guys aren’t affiliated with us. Foostus looks for some drugs because he’s just “so sad.” He then buys 12 W0ndershrooms and 7 buffouts. Everyone prepares for the onslaught. Greg is traded for Foostus in a last minute deal.

The Onslaught
Left Wall: Seight, Alvin, Belial, and Foostus.
Belial knocks the rushed big asshole prone like a bitch. Belial gets hit by the swarm of bat demons, and gets RAPED. The guards shoot at the big guy, one of four hits… Demons rush the wall. Seight ice breaths and kills two minions (they explode and leave a cloud) and hits the big bitch for 11 damage and activates shield. Foostus goes in defense or whatever they call it. Alvin attempts to relentless wounding the big fuck and NAILS it dealing 15 damage. Red attacks Alvin with a swarm. The big guys climbs on up the wall and jumped behind some people. Belial takes out three minions. A guard takes out the last minion. Another guard shoots at red guy for 9 damage. Seight unexpected shield bashes the big guy for 34 damage. Foostus leaps at the big guy and gets hit by an opportunity attack and gets knocked down off the wall for an embarrassing amount of damage and then stands up. Alvin lands staggering shot against the big guy for 19 damage pushing him off the wall, into the field. Alvin got crit by the big ghey. Another magicky guy and another huge bitch shows up. New guy misses Belial. New big ghey moves up to be with his brethren. Original big guy jumps over the wall and then just looks menacing after falling down and getting back up. Belial does something vs boss man for 17 damage. Guard gets hit for 18 damage by some thing. Minions rush the wall. Seight killed a minion… yep, only one and hit the first big guy for 56 damage. Alvin tells Foostus to hit the big guy for 24 damage. Foostus also deals another 37 damage. Swarms hit Alvin to bloody him. A guy turned into a demon and swung with his “pain-blade.” Lotsa people take lotsa damage from some things. Not lookin so great over here… Foostus nearly attacks a guard, but he gets a second chance. Guy does 50 damage to big guy. Foostus gets smacked for 15 damage, but takes half damage and gets attack bonus or some shit. Seight gets hit by swarm and the big guy hits Seight too. Foostus: “Seight! Is our big guy bleeded??” Seight gets knocked down by the big guy, never mind, not quite. Boss takes 37 damage due to another jello crit. Foostus does some cute damage. Alvin does a thing with some stuff against the big bro, seemed to be pretty cool. Stuff happens. (Fuck you Greg)

Right Wall: Greg, Urza, Aravir, and Jamison.
Big asshole charges up to the gate. His iron gets turned right into glass by some hero cleric (Fuck you, Greg). Bat demons get thrown at Urza, but he dodges them like a champ. Erza makes a fuckin storm pillar. Aravir crit the big guy for 57 glorious damage and weakens him. Jamison activates bare-knuckle-rebuke, gets ready to maybe be useful at some point. Minions run toward the gate and surround the big fag. Guards attack minions, killing one and leaving one cloud. Greg gets devoured by a swarm of demons a little bit, and they hang around afterward. Big guy stomps over storm pillar for 16 damage. He then climbs up the gate, standing rather precariously at the top. He takes two swings at Jamison hitting twice, dealing 4 damage total. Greg lands denunciation on the big guy debuffing the fuck out of him. A guy kills two minions with fireballz. Erza casts “shock beetle swarm,” and takes down two minions and spawns a beetle that does shit. Aravir whacks the big guy for 53 damage, bloodying him. The big guy then releases a savage howl that makes near enemies super duper pissed. Jamison swings at the big guy, and he swings back for 12 damage, Jamison lands 13 damage and knocks him off the wall for zero damage. Woo. The guards try to crossbow the big boy, hit three out of their four shots dealing 20 damage. Red guy swarms at Greg for some more damage, more swarms… The guy throws fireballs at the big guy for 15 damage with 10 ongoing damage. Big guy gets back up the wall. More minions show up, as well as another big guy. Fuck. Puke green fires a guard, he takes 20 damage, has shit orbiting him. Big guy takes 10 fire damage. Aravir does 35 damage to the big guy. Jamison hits the big guy for 25 damage. Jamison then takes up the action pants and hits him again for 25 damage to finish that son of a bitch. Minions rush up again. Black guard gets downed buy stuff. Greg heroically astral seals the big guy. A guard turns out to be a demon, right next to Greg and other people. He then slashes and hits Greg for 20 damage. Aravir crits red for 40 damage. Jamison does 9 damage and knocks him prone (the big guy). A minion climbs a wall kinda. Greg crit stands up! Like a goddamn champion. (Fuck you Greg) Then gets knocked right back down :( Aravir hits guard/demon for 32 damage. Jamison grabs the big guy and does a little damage. Erza slays a minion. Fireballs at the big guy for 27 damage and puts him on fire. Greg crit stood up AGAIN. What an animal. Maw attacks. Jamison knocks the big guy prone. Stuff happens. Greg crit sacred flames the big guy, and then Aravir took him down.

Alvin – Actually dealing damage and helping strategize during combat +75xp, Remembering fade away +25xp. Total: 100xp

Aravir – Good RP in the city (hiding, staying away from jamison, etc.) +75xp, Telling bad jokes with Mick +50xp, Obliterating things in combat +25xp. Total: 150xp

Erza – Good RP +50xp, Funny imagery (Waking up with shit piled on you by Unseen Servants, Knocking over the Crown Hunter’s drink on him) +50xp, Making small talk with the Byzair +50xp. Subtotal: 150xp * 1.5 (underleveled bonus) = Total: 225xp

Foostus – Good RP being a sad sack +75xp, Buying a lot of drugs +75xp. Total: 150xp

Greg – Sort of in character adventure log with informativeness inversely proportional to time +125xp, Number of times I had to add “Fuck you Greg” to the adventure log, minus (5xp)x(5) = -25xp, Using the shit out of your telepathy +50xp. Total: 150xp

Jamison – Excellent RP (Parading about smelling of horseshit still thinking he’s the man, bathing in the fountain, funny dialog/imagery, etc.) +100xp, Acting on character knowledge +50xp, Helping a friend in need (by scoring him drugs) +50xp. Total: 200xp.

Seight – Good RP and continuing to be the one doing all the talking (Bluffing your ass off) +125xp, Operating under pressure (timed segments) +50xp. Total: 175xp.

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